It's Been A While

It's been a while that i abandoned this site for almost 1 year...

Been busy with my thesis and life will be getting more hectic in 2 weeks time... gosh.. i cant imagine the hell life for the final semester... what to do? last sem to strive with, perhaps after this, i will be free from all of these... hwaiting~~~

It's December~

Time, can u be a bit slower? that marks 2 more weeks for my final submission.. yet, i still stuck in my DESIGN part... gosh.. every time stuck at this part... why cant i translate my idea well into the design?? am i thinking too much? i dont know.. kinda tension now.. gonna burst d.. need to calm down to let my brain function normally... but having time constraint now.. just cant calm myself.. been tension for almost 1 week. just be silent in the house, isolated myself from the crowd... just dont felt like socialize at this moment.. am i getting weird??? argh...

Dear December, please do me a favor.. let me get my idea, work SMART and FAST. i just want to submit my assignment on time and hopefully everything goes well... a simple wish for this month...

*如果只有一点点喜欢你*

如果我只有一点点喜欢你，我就不会跟你说。

因为我知道，人生，特别当你寂寞太久的时候，有太多的冲动，把喜欢当很喜欢，把一秒当作永恒。我相信一见钟情，我也相信日久生情， 所以我要等待。

等待这份只有一点点喜欢的情愫慢慢沉淀，看过了多久，我又会注意上另外的人，患了同样的心情。

人啊， 这辈子，喜欢过太多的人，分分合合， 却始终理解不了自己的情绪。

有时候你觉得自己真的不能等了， 真的不能不说出口了，以后你会回头会发现，那是小孩子脾气。True love waits always

如果，我喜欢你的时间够长，或许半年，或许一年。

那么，我愿意和自己打个赌，看过了这么久的时间，我是喜欢你更多，还是降唯了只是欣赏，甚至发现了你的许多不契合自己内心的标准而不再喜欢你。

人人都期待爱情，不论是轰轰烈烈还是平平淡淡，都想要甜蜜，但如果光是等待，就永远不知道那是否是自己想要的。

所以，就试试吧。

如果我喜欢你更多，想和你在一起的心情一直在，且没办法把目光集中在其他人身上。

那么，我就会亲口告诉你。

但是我会给你说,我只是告诉你，因为我想让你知道。

我喜欢你，我想要跟你在一起，我想要你也喜欢上我。但是，世界上并不全是如愿的事情，相反，不如愿的事情十之八九。

所以，我没必要要你的答案，也没有要求你喜欢上我就一定要和我在一起，也不想因为这样苦恼而日渐远离我。

我说了，你知道了，那我们该做什么，就做什么去吧。

我的心里，如果喜欢是占有，那太过于自私和小气，一点也不伟大。

如果你知道了，明了了，哪一天你跟我有了同样的想法和愿望以及冲动，你就来告诉我。

如果我那时仍然喜欢你，那我们就在一起。

如果不，那就算了吧。

反正我告诉你的时候也没有承诺保证过，我会一直那样喜欢你，对吗？

反正，我们也最多只是点点喜欢彼此，那种程度还不至于不能在一起会很痛苦，不是吗？

我知道，这世界的人有太多的杂念，喜欢一个人，就把那喜欢放大成爱，把自己所做当做理所当然，想要回报，想要靠近，想要你喜欢的人也一样喜欢你，想要感情的跷跷板平衡。

不是不可以，只是还没有那么潇洒地喜欢。

爱不是跷跷板，也不是天平。双方谁爱多一点少爱一点也是正常，不恰当一点，如果爱是100分，我爱你90 分，你爱我10分，凑成满分，便也够了。

如果我们好像顺理成章在一起了，有时侯这种不平衡，会让90分的一方不满足。于是，便起争执，便起怀疑，便起疯狂，便起一句一句的“你爱我吗”，“你到底爱不爱我”。

可是，爱你自然会让你知道，爱你自然会避免争执和怀疑，爱你自然不会折磨你。

又何必那么贪心，至少他还在你看得见的地方，好好的活着。

经历过足够的人，才会知道。

如果我真的那么喜欢你，而你没有那么喜欢我

那么，

你喜欢别人，我不会痛苦；

你骗我，我总是宽容；

你需要我，我就伸出手；

你丢下我，我自己回去；

你不理我，我不会不理你；

你关心我，我淡然接受；

只要，你还在我触手可及的地方，我就没有资格再奢求什么。

直到有一天，累了，心疼自己了，

我就会走掉，

这样，你懂了吧。

interesting post.. 

Sunday

SUNDAY = FAMILY DAY

Sunday, it's a relaxing day.. keep myself away from the tonnes of assignments... woke up quite early in the morning and went for the typical Malaysian style Mamak breakfast, one of my favourite breakfast with family. 

After breakfast, it's time for some house chores and drama~ Found out that the latest HongKong drama "Line Power" is quite worth to watch... It's a drama about the lawyers and how they solve the problems using their knowledges of laws... There are few quotes in the drama which caught my attention.. It's so true to describe the human natures and behaviours.. Throughout this drama, i found out many interesting characteristics of human nature and it reminds me of something and some people in life... looking forward for the coming story..

Recently i was kept on being questioned about my current relationship status from previous secondary schoolmates, university mates and even family.. Kinda weird.. This happened since i cut my hair short, may be they are wondering it is one of the reason which i go for short hair after "something" happened to me.. lol... (this was asked and told by my friends) But seriously nothing happened to me, i just want to have some new changes in this monotonous life.. Well, another reason may be is due to my AGE ? perhaps 23 years old is the ideal age to get a bf and go for a slightly different life? i dont know and have no idea on it.. I think there's no point to rush on this matter, i believe that it will happen and come to me when it's the ideal time to be happen.. so just let it be..

2 more days to go back to the "hell" life.. haha.. gonna enjoy the remaining 2 days to the maximum... chill~

New Move in November

Felt like want to update my blog since long long time ago... but many things kept on bothering and deterring me fro doing so (always came out with some stupid excuses) lol... so make it on the day my favourite number - 3  *wink*

well, at last i able to make it and change some layout of my blog.. the "colourful" theme was being replaced by the clean and simple grey background.. perhaps just like my life transforming from a colourful to a more monotone life... may be a more matured thinking, i doubt... but i think that's a good move, at least there's some changes in my life.. going to dump the naive me in the past..

2013 seems like a happening year.. been went though many things in my life.. stepping into another stage of study life, having a new perception of study life especially towards Architecture.. although sometimes there will be still some dilemma appeared deep inside my mind but at least most of them being resolved compared to my previous aimless study life.. Met new friends in new environment... still need time to adapt.. but i am sure it's going to be a better one...

November, going to be a super hectic month fighting for final project... Hold on and keep moving forward.. Everything going to be fine

拥有就是失去的开始... Sounds quite true.. When u start to own something, u will tends feel like want to occupy it and u will start to feel like insecure scared that u will lost it someday.. Kinda hate of this kind of feeling.. Nothing happen just kind of self expression 

Random thought

When u didn't expect for something , u won't felt disappointed for it.. When u thinking too much or expect too much, the disappointment will be bigger.. Expect for nothing and live for yourself.. Work for another brand new day 😉

HOMESICK , 
unbelievable i am suffering from this symptom even been staying away from home for 10 years... may be this was the longest ever holiday i have been spending at home. Home is the best ever place or heaven in the world i would say. I can do whatever i want to do, eat whatever i want to eat, watch any movie i wanted, sleep like no body. Thats called a holiday. But 2 months just passed like that... tomorrow i am gonna start my second semester for my 4th year. I know it wont a easy pathway to go, but perhaps with the full charged soul and mind, i can perform better in this semester Dare to be dream an go beyond!!!

New sem, good start, just hit it!!!

Another New Chapter of Life

Life is like throwing dice, we will never get to know what's the number we will able to get at last. It's been 23 years i live on this planet, been gone through some high and low in life... and this year there is a huge turning point in my life.. Thanks god for offering me a place for my Part 2 in UPM. I think i really lucky enough to have some good and passionate lecturers over here.. the dilemma and uncertainty have now degrading a time goes by. I cant promise that i have 100% confidence and passion towards this challenging field, but i will try my very best to keep on pace and gain back my passions and motivations onto it. 

New semester is coming soon, yet i still felt myself in a very restless and holiday mood. Perhaps i am having a too long and relaxing holidays... or think it in another way round... may be it's a good time for me to take a break and regenerate myself for a more challenging life onwards... Come on, just do it... don't be scared, i have nothing to lost!!!

O C T O B E R

its been 5 months i didnt update my blog...

throughout this 5 months, had gone through many thgs... learnt a lot about life... decision making and socialize..

i m not sure whether i m taking the right path o nt, been miserable and unsure about my future.. but life still goes on, i noe it wont be perfect as wat i wished to.. but i m now trying my best adapt to it and perhaps there's a better path awaiting me in the coming days...

O C T O B E R~ plz b kind to me...

幸福，其实可以很简单～

妈妈的爱心便当，满满的菜肴装着的是她那满满的鼓励，所以要告诉自己千万别放弃！！！

一切会变好的～

FIGHTING!!!

its going be a brand new week...

a week as usual which ll be loaded with tonnes of assignments... yet, life still goes on~

what had been over just let it be, look forward for a better life..

keep fighting!!! n i seriously need motivation to keep moving on...

just hang on there...

come on~ seriously , at this moment and  the coming  9-10hrs, i need plenty of lucks and energy!!!

can felt the insufficient in myself during the drawing test which i think i need to upgrade and improve myself a lot instead to have a stand in this field...

disappointed~ yet have to fight till the end..

 "since we have nothing to lost, so we are not fear to lost it"

all the best to myself ~ (praying hard)

wish for a better day~

i believe that the dawn will comes after the darkness night... n i have to bear with all the fears in this darkest night... i am sure that i will see the light of dawn in one day.. just keep going on and strive hard for it

studio o studio~

i gotta speed up  my working speed  n perhaps able to finish "them" b4 xmas so tat i can enjoy my xmas...

come on , lets continue fighting!!!

SPEED!!!

need to speed it up!!!

stop any distraction & focus 200% to my 3d max...

motivation , passion & ideas please come back to me !!!

忙了2个多月，终于... 生病了～


自从1st year的时候一定要到USM pusat sejahtera 做body-checkup后，就没踏进pusat sejahtera了... 晚上的pusat sejahtera冷冷清清的，只有我一个人register... 也好这样就比较快settle, 然后可以回去赶功课...


Register时，那个值日护士还误以为我是1st year student~ lolx... 自从上了大学再加上是HBP的学生，只能说岁月不饶人，样子真是越来越“成熟”咯～ 


Register后，不到5分钟就轮到我的挂诊号码了... 就像平时看医生一样咯.. 


Dr.: " Sakit apa?"


我：“Batuk, selsema, demam"


Dr. : "ok, buka mulut （塞入thermometer)"


Dr.: "Bila start batuk? kerongkak sudah bengkak ya, i bagi ubat batuk, selsema, antibiotik. Jangan makan makanan yang berminyak..@6&*&^#^&*!*^&*....etc)


Dr: " (抽出thermometer) sudah demam ya, i bagi panadol."


我：“噢～”


Dr.: “OK！sudah... boleh tunggu di luar untuk ambil ubat ya”


每次看完医生都觉得医生的工作好像很简单，就这里check下那里check下,就settle了... 难怪以前小时候有想过要当医生啦～lolx... 但其实看过我那些念医学系的朋友，医生一点都不好当... 每天一大堆的test, quiz...etc.. 只能说每个course都有难的地方，就在于我们怎样去投入和enjoy吧～


回到宿舍，吃了药就做功课咯～这个sem还蛮忙的，因为school临时换了我们的syllabus搞到那些totally course-work based 的subjects 全部调换来这个sem了... 原本以为可以轻松一点的，但....haiz... 算了，努力奋斗吧！


3rd YEAR 了，fighting~

its Sunday night again... the moody night in the week... cz gonna start my blue monday after i wake up from the sweet dream...

anyway this sunday is slightly different from the previous 11 weeks' sunday night.. after 2nite i ll start to countdown for the last day of my 3 months internship..  woohoo~ independent soon.. wahhaha... 

perhaps everything goes fine for these five days.. ^u^

1st day internship~

woke up around 7am.. had a simple breakfast, took my bath n start my journey of the working day... hoho...

1st time ever driving in Ipoh... motorcycles are the vehicles which i trying to stay away on the road..lolx... the motorcycles sometimes are just staying too near to the car, sometimes speeding fast pass by the car... for me, it is dangerous...

reached the architect firm around 7.45am... i still had around 45mins before start working... was departing too earlier today..lolx.. but earlier better than late.. so its ok~

there are quite a number of people working in that firm, 22person including me & mr.KL.. as what 1 of the trainee from UKM's 2nd yr student which had started his internship since last 2 weeks, there are 5 of us which are trainee undergo training in this firm - 4 chinese n 1 malay and i m the only girl... n i noticed that there are only 4 girls which including the boss's wife, clerk, 1 worker & ME... its the male's world... 

after registered ourself by handling in all those necessary document... relaxing??? chatting???

no.. no.. no..

jobs were given!!! hohoho...

we were given 1 project to be drafted by each person... i need to draft out all the plans for the amendment project of 1 Tamil Methodist Church... the previous reference plans given were noted being drawn in year 1992... around 19 years ago's... then start my day with autocad which have not been touched for ages since the last submission... almost 4gt how to use it d... progression was damn slow...

slowly picked up part by part yet still slow la... need to speed up... Met with Mr.Ding, the boss in his super duper cold's office, had a chatting session.. he is an old man (nt really looked old la) wearing spec, thin and quite tall... i think he is quite a kind person, willing to give chances to us, the newbie in the industry to learn... we were given each person another new task to be done.. hoho.. 1 day 2 tasks... bt mine 1 not yet decided so hopefully it will be an easier 1 1st la.. lolx.. i still nt yet warm up my engine... but hopefully can utilize this internship 3months period to upgrade & improve myself in this industry...

was super duper sleepy right now... it was the meaningful 1st working day.. looking forward & perhaps it will be a fun 1~

fighting~~~